A Love Letter to Mr. N
Sweet N,
Today I am in reflection...6 years ago I laid in a hospital bed with a flood of emotions running through me. We were 34 weeks along in our pregnancy....a pregnancy filled with complications and close calls. I woke early in the morning to find my water had broken, it was time. Time for us to put this pregnancy behind us and meet face to face. It was time to see the little person I had been fighting to keep alive in my body these last months. I was both relieved and terrified.
Six weeks early is no joke. Your little lungs may not be developed enough for you to breath. You may not be able to digest milk...you may not even make it alive. When those thoughts came into my mind I replaced them quickly. You had made it so far already, God would not let us down now. God kept you in my body even though it tried so hard to reject you. He showed miracle after miracle, they would not stop now.
At 4:24am you were born in the same hospital room as your big sister. Although at this birth we had a lot more people to greet you. A NICU team was ready to whisk you away. I was able to hold you for a quick moment. For that I was so thankful.
You could breathe on your own.
Thank the Lord.
It would spend 2 weeks in the NICU. I would visit you daily and my heart would ache leaving the hospital without you. It's hard to leave a hospital without your baby. I just kept thanking the Lord that a day would come soon that I could take you home.
Your sister and brother were so excited to have you join our family. Miss F thought you were a new doll. She could not get enough of you.
I can't believe that was 6 years ago.
I see today the reasons why you were able to fight the battle in my womb. You want your way. You fight for what you think is right, even if it's all sorts of wrong. You do everything with passion and enthusiasm. I constantly have to tell you to slow down and take a breath. You are a child that wants to live life to the fullest and do it now. I hope you never loose that. Don't let anyone take that love of life away from you.
My love for you is huge. And you know that. Yes you are turning 6 in a few short hours, but you are and always will be my baby. My little one that I had to fight extra hard for. The one who tries my patience to the fullest and makes me want to scream. But at the end of the day when you fall asleep on the couch cause your bedroom is too scary I forget the frustration and only feel overwhelming love.
You have my heart sweet N. You will have it forever. You truly are my treasure. I will tell you that often, even though your reply is always "Momma, I'm not made of gold." Oh but you are made of gold my son. You are gold to me.
Happy Birthday Mr. N. May this next year be filled with fun adventures, tender moments and most importantly a whole lot of love.
I love you to the moon and back.
Momma
Today I am in reflection...6 years ago I laid in a hospital bed with a flood of emotions running through me. We were 34 weeks along in our pregnancy....a pregnancy filled with complications and close calls. I woke early in the morning to find my water had broken, it was time. Time for us to put this pregnancy behind us and meet face to face. It was time to see the little person I had been fighting to keep alive in my body these last months. I was both relieved and terrified.
Six weeks early is no joke. Your little lungs may not be developed enough for you to breath. You may not be able to digest milk...you may not even make it alive. When those thoughts came into my mind I replaced them quickly. You had made it so far already, God would not let us down now. God kept you in my body even though it tried so hard to reject you. He showed miracle after miracle, they would not stop now.
At 4:24am you were born in the same hospital room as your big sister. Although at this birth we had a lot more people to greet you. A NICU team was ready to whisk you away. I was able to hold you for a quick moment. For that I was so thankful.
You could breathe on your own.
Thank the Lord.
It would spend 2 weeks in the NICU. I would visit you daily and my heart would ache leaving the hospital without you. It's hard to leave a hospital without your baby. I just kept thanking the Lord that a day would come soon that I could take you home.
I can't believe that was 6 years ago.
I see today the reasons why you were able to fight the battle in my womb. You want your way. You fight for what you think is right, even if it's all sorts of wrong. You do everything with passion and enthusiasm. I constantly have to tell you to slow down and take a breath. You are a child that wants to live life to the fullest and do it now. I hope you never loose that. Don't let anyone take that love of life away from you.
My love for you is huge. And you know that. Yes you are turning 6 in a few short hours, but you are and always will be my baby. My little one that I had to fight extra hard for. The one who tries my patience to the fullest and makes me want to scream. But at the end of the day when you fall asleep on the couch cause your bedroom is too scary I forget the frustration and only feel overwhelming love.
You have my heart sweet N. You will have it forever. You truly are my treasure. I will tell you that often, even though your reply is always "Momma, I'm not made of gold." Oh but you are made of gold my son. You are gold to me.
Happy Birthday Mr. N. May this next year be filled with fun adventures, tender moments and most importantly a whole lot of love.
I love you to the moon and back.
Momma
This is so sweet! What a beautiful story. Time really does go soooo fast! Found you on the linkup.
ReplyDeleteMy blog is www.redeemingtheday.com, come by for a visit!
ReplyDeleteI remember this so clearly and the black and white photos I took of him when he was in the NICU. He is a fighter like his Mom...
ReplyDelete